Important note: Information in this article was accurate in 2003. The state of the art may have changed since the publication date.
BBC News - Wednesday, 3 December, 2003
I'm 19 years old, although there are times when I feel like I'm at least 30.
A year ago I found out that I was HIV-positive.
To say that I was shocked would be a big understatement. At that time I was still a child. Now I feel as though I've lived through a war - a war with myself, inside myself, with my virus.
I think that you can compare HIV to a ghost or a spirit - something that you can't see but that scares people and makes them say that they don't believe in it.
Ages ago I watched this film. It was called One Night Stand.
I never thought at that time that one day the same thing would happen to me.
One phrase from the film sticks in my mind, and it's become my slogan: "Life isn't a dress rehearsal."
I think that says it all.
Where I was meant to be
Stress, or illness, changes you. Some people change for the better, some for the worse. In my case I think I've changed for the better.
I've got an aim in life now. For more than six months I've been working as a volunteer for two organisations.
One is a helpline for people with HIV and Aids. I tell them there are treatments now that prolong your life, that enable you to live a normal life with HIV.
Most people don't know that. I didn't know it myself.
I hear people's voices at the other end of the line saying things like: "Thank you, I wanted to go and jump off the roof but now after talking to you I realise that things aren't so bad, that you can live with HIV, that I can think about tomorrow, that I might be able to have children."
When I hear people say those kind of things to me, it means more than any money, qualifications or medals ever could.
I think I've found the place I was meant to be.
I think that HIV came into my life so that I could save other people. Well that sounds a bit over the top - what I'm trying to say is so that I could help other people.
If you ask me about my hopes and aims in life then I suppose I'd say that I want to dedicate my life to people who need help. I'd like to be a psychologist.
And, you know, like any normal girl of my age I dream that one day I'll fall in love, I'll meet my other half - and he will be someone who will love me for myself, despite the virus inside me.
For him I'll be just me - Natasha - and fear won't be a barrier to our happiness.
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